2005 GRH3 Hash Schedule

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GRH3 Run # 169 Pre-New Years Hash "Goodbye 2005 / Welcome to 2006"

Party Time

Thursday/December 29 at 6:00pm

Hare: Phantom Hasher

Start Location: Teazers Bar & Grill - 819 Ottawa Avenue N.E., Grand Rapids (between Autodie and Rockys)

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: Teazers, and Logans Alley

Di-Erections: 1. Check out Mapquest.com

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (additional contributions always excepted)

Run Review: It was a small, yet dedicated group. We did our warmup inside teasers..... We set off down the mean streets of GR. There was some shiggy, through construction and the bushes of the museum. That spot was rougher back in the day when it was the Bavarian bar...ah... the memories... We met up with Coco puffs as she demonstrated her figure skating abilities. Back on trail, we sampled bells two-hearted beer at rocky's. then off to logans.... Arg!!!!! written by "He Barks Like A Dingo"

Notes: TBA Flashlights - up to your discretion

GRH3 Run # 168 Pre-XMAS Hash "sledding all the way"

Bring your sleds (several will be available)

Ho Ho Ho Santa is on his way

Sunday/December 18 at 2:00pm

Hare: TBA

Start Location: Richmond Hill Park - sledding hill

On-In Location: Outside?

OnOnOn Location: Home of Hot Lips for Chili, etc.

Di-Erections: Richmond Hills Park 1. From the N.E. of Grand Rapids take Leonard Street heading West - crossing the Grand River go at Alpine turn right/North and at Richmond Street N.W. turn left/West Š pass entrance on Tamarack Š look for place to park on Richmond, Powers or Escott (side streets)? Meet at the top of the hill at 2pm for a sledding hash. Park is on the right/North side of the rode.

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (additional contributions always excepted)

Run Review: Fantastic incredible holy hll fire shitza what a day for a sledding hash. Great and wonderful time was had by all as we flew down the hills of fresh snow. We had several caravans or trains of sleds very cool. The hot cocoa and schnapps was a hit just yummy!!!!!! Norbert ended up with a headache still the next day from a tumble he took with rolling in the snow included. Not sure about the rest of the crew how they servived. Pictures were taken and hopefully will be up on the website soon.

Hot chili was provided at the ononon home with extra fruits brought by Just Bruce and little Marc; and snacks brought by Marathondong. Just casualness with of course a beverage or two of beer or schapps. Was great to see Sweet Pea and her sis Kim. Just Norbert headed out early for another party. What is with that and how do we rate? Very well I think. See you all at the next hash and we will be running. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!!!

Notes: Chili provided at home of???? No flashlights required

GRH3 Run # 167 THE HOLIDAZZZZZZZE - Santa Hat Run

View the Christmas Lights in EGR singing hash songs

Sunday, December 11, 2005 at 4:00pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: East Grand Rapids Middle School (parking lot)

On-In Location: Logan's

ONONON Location: Logan's Alley (916 Michigan Street NE between College and Fuller)

Di-Erections: 1. East GR Middle School is located on the corner of Lake Drive and Breton

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (additional contributions always excepted)

Run Review: Great to see hashers out on a burrie day. Trail was set by Hot Lips (GM) and Rhotan (GM) of the Second City Hash in Chicago. Santa hats, bells and candy canes were handed out as we arrived. Out on trail Barks Like A Dingo found a hasher from way back/years ago by the name of SPIT. Welcome back SPIT!!! He ran with us to the first BN then left us as we sang out XMAS songs in the little gingerbread hut.

Notes: No flashlights required

GRH3 Run # 166 Post Turkey Day Hash

A gobble here and a gobble there everywhere a gobble gobble

Thursday/December 1 at 6:00pm

Hare: Mistress of Naughtiness (Miss Naughty)

Start Location: Dean Lake (Park) - 2268 Edgewater Drive/Dade Street (Northwest Shore of Dean Lake)

On-In Location: Outside

OnOnOn Location: Cheers - 3994 Plainfield Avenue N.E.

Di-Erections: 1. If coming from Plainfield and 4 Mile Road turn East and turn North/left onto Miramar at Dade Street turn right and Dean Lake Park is on the right side. 2. If coming from Plainfield by Cheers Restaurant turn South on Balsam then left/East onto Holtman - South onto Miramar and left/East onto Dade Street. Look for Hashers and bring flashlights!!!!

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (additional contributions always excepted)

Run Review: Great and glorious evening for a hash in the snowie state of Michigan. Quite dark at 6pm with no stars, moon or ? to be seen. A gathering took place by the cars where we did our normal rituals and headed out with several flashlights as the snow continued on. At times during the run we could hear the hare yelling BN Check as she carried the flask of butterscotch schnapps. Hmmmm, I kept hearing bite and suck any thoughts on that one? Somehow we were able to stay on trail must have been the harriers have been eating their carrots lately. Oops! Carrots? That reminds me about the story of the yard with blow up holiday critters in it. As we were running along Just Norbert and Just Bruce saw this snowman with a carrot attached to his nose crashed on this lawn. That ran over to try and save it monkeying around with the wiring, etc. Just Bruce finally yelled for Hot Lips to come over and give the snowman a blow job well the truth is she bit his carrot a couple times. Next thing you know the snowman is coming back full strength and erect as he could be. I don't know about this one? Tell me the truth what really happened?

Where are those Holiday songs for hashing? Guess we'll have to check out Half-mind.com for the hymnal. Couple hashers where complaining about the catsup bottles not looking like they should (heinz 57 bottles) stop and wait for everyone to catsup. Lots of traffic but a good run of atleast 3.5 miles? Ask the hare for the truth.

Circle up was heard and consisted of: Toasting to G; Hare- Mistress of Naughtiness (not enough shiggy out there - SHITTY Trail); Returner being - Shine My Knob; Front Running Bastard - Just Bruce (singing God Bless My Underpants); Wearing head gear 3 consecutive times in the circle - Just Bruce; Re-erecting a snowman - Just Bruce and Just Norbert; Dead Fucking Last - Hot Lips; Tallest Hasher - Barks Like A Dingo "Ruff Ruff"; Using Technology in the Circle - Just Norbert. Thank you Just Norbert for writing up the hash trash for the night.

Then as we said goodnight to another hash us diehards headed to Cheers for a tower of beer and chips/salsa and to listen to the good music of the band.


GRH3 Run # 165 Chili Willy Hash

Chili Party (hot or mild what do you prefer?)

Sunday/November 20 at 3:30pm

Hare: Marathondong

Start Location: Meeting at the end of Plaza Drive

On-In Location: Outside

OnOnOn Location: Corner of Sweet and Herrick Street N.E.

Di-Erections: At Plainfield and 96 go North on Plainfield Avenue N.E. (between Fuller and 4 Mile) turn East/right onto Plaza Drive towards Hubba Tubba. Drive past Hubba Tubba / The Hideout (aka Hair of the Frog) and park at the Hideout or in parking lot of Channel 17. Meeting at the end of Plaza Drive.

Hash Cash: $7.00 for beer and munchies (additional contributions always excepted)

Run Review: Cold? day for a hash thank you Mother Nature - more to come...

Notes: Future hares needed

GRH3 Run # 164 An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Apple Bobbing Time

Sunday/November 13 at 3:30

Hare: Just Norbert (virgin hasher)

Start Location: Robinettes gift barn parking lot- 3142 4 Mile Road N.E. (West of the East Beltline)

On-In Location: Outside

OnOnOn Location: Cheers located on Plainfield Avenue N.E.

Di-Erections: TBA

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (additional contributions always excepted)

Run Review: Here is the write-up for the hash as noted by all the hashers of the day. The day was windy just so windy that we were blown around almost like leaves falling from the trees. The trail was prelaid by our new hasher Just Norbert what a good sport he is. The apple orchards were fun to run through as we dodged rotten ones on the ground or ones falling. Schnapps was yummy at both BN's felt good to be atleast warm inside. Faggin Waggin was lost for awhile but located us somewhere? Trail was short but no problem we hashed. As we headed in it was decided this was not enough so we all headed back out as overachievers and ran an additional 3 miles on a mountain mike trail that Norbert knew about. What is with this overachieving stuff is all I have to ask. Hmmm, guess I am an overachiever myself. We moved the cars to a different lot for the circle - you know more privacy and all.

The Circle was in the mist of trees well hidden? Here you go the goods: As you know it's ritual that we toast to G the founder of hash and this we did willingly; First time hare - Just Norbert (we like shitty trails); FRB - Marathondong; DFL and returner - Faggin Waggin (lost for 4 months); Overachieving with a extra 3 miles - Barks Like A Dingo; Just Sue, Just Norbert, Just Jackie and Marathondong; Shortcutter (SCB) - Faggin; Tallest Hasher - Just Jackie; Shortest Hasher - Just Norman; Hat in Circle - Just Norbert and Faggin; Naming #1 - Just Jackie was named/baptised into the hashing world of GR and thru out the world as "Sweet Pee" (took a long time for that one); Naming #2 - Just Sue was named/baptised into the hashing world of GR and thru out the world as "Mistress of Naughtiness" (Naughty); Naming #3 - Just Norbert (just kidding we wanted to name him "Salad Shooting Prison Btch". This is all for today other then we want to thank Just Sue's sister at Cheers for the wonderful hospitality she provided us. Thank you and thank you!!!!!

Notes: TBA

GRH3 Run # 163 Yo-Ho-Ho It's a Pirates Life for Me - arghhhhhhh

Shiver me timbers - where is my cruise ship?

Sunday/November 7 at 3:30

Hare: Just Mike (new hash name tba)

Start Location: Highland Park

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Logan's Alley - 916 Michigan Street N.E.

Di-Erections: From I96 (Gerald R Ford Freeway) going East take College Exit #78 at the stop sign turn South at Michigan turn East/left and go straight. At Eastern Street turn North/left then West/left onto Frontage Street. At Highland Park look for parking near the playground. Look for other hash vehicles (on-on bumper stickers).

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies

Run Review: What a day for pirates arghhhhh. ...... you hashers you..... The hash was a live event and we gave the hare maybe 10 minutes before we tried to chase him down. We headed out but were lost forever in never never land. Jeepers we looked over hill and dale for the trail but the hare was too good. He sure needs a good naming - hmmmmm. We ran up and down and all around finding some trail but then loosing it again. At some point in time I can't remember when - we gave up and headed in. We found the hare at the cars and forced him to show us where the trail was. As was mentioned earlier he hid the trail well - we must not have eaten our carrots the day before. Some day I'll learn. After finding true trail it was decided all of us would be shortcutters as we headed in.

Circle Up: Hare as a 1st timer - Just Mike (what a shitty trail); naming was of course our one and only Just Mike and he will be forever known in our world and else where as "Barks Like A Dingo" (Ruff Ruff); Virgin Hasher - Just Norman (transplant from New York and the Netherlands were he was born); DFL's - Just Sue and Norbert; FRB - Hot Lips; Tallest hasher - Just Norbert; SCB's (shortcutters) - Just Sue, Norbert and Hot Lips; There was of course other offenses but couldn't recall - where or where has my memory gone or where or where can it be? Hmmmmm.....

Notes: Bring your pirate gear yo ho ho and a bottle of yum/beer

GRH3 Run # 162 Post Marathon and 1/2 Marathon Hash


Sunday/October 30 at 1:30 hash time

Hare: Checking....and waiting who will the hare be? Hot Lips (what is setting a trail after a 1/2 marathon - no prob?)

Start Location: David D. Hunting YMCA meet at the flag (new YMCA 475 Lake Michigan Drive - downtown GR) Start/finish of marathon/1/2 marathon

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Beer Coral near the Y

Di-Erections: check the website for www.grandrapidsmarathon.com

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (beer provided from Marathondong)

Run Review: Marathon beer check as noted by Cumz in a Can: The irreverently bawdy contingent from GRH3.com provided entertainment and copious amounts of free cold beer at the second running of the Grand Rapids Marathon. Most ra**ers were true wankers. Upon occasion, however, a gusty On On was heard from the trail as a truly appreciative runner approached the well supplied aid station. As the event began to wind down, your illustrious contingent proceeded to the finish line where additional copious amounts of beer were consumed. Hats and whistles in the air to Marathon Dong for an excellent SHITTY trail.

Well let me tell you the hash today ended up being the clean-up crew for the marathon. Work a little - drink a little - play a little sing us a tune. Was well worth giving some of our time back into the community. What we do for a little good cold beer and free to boot.

Notes: TBA

GRH3 Run # 161 Pre-Halloween Hash (wear full/partial costumes)

House Warming OnOnOn for the hare

Sunday/October 23 at 3:30pm

Hare: Cumz in a Can (transplant from Virginia Beach)

Start Location: Kentwood Town Center (park by the old Target Store just West of Sams Club), 28th Street (between Patterson and East Paris) - call 616-365-8435 for specific directions

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Home of the Hare (house warming - bring gifts of furniture, etc.)

Di-Erections: check the website - oh this is the website isn't it?

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies

Run Review: Today is Sunday and Sunday is a day of rest? No, it's a hashing day!!!! Here we are and there goes the hare with a 15 minute headstart to set the live trail. We all had partial costumes on as we headed out and into Office Depo and out the back door. Does that make cents? Excellent trail thru the condos and shiggy and whatever, hmmmmmm. Cumz in a Can mentioned it had been 4 years? since he set a trail. Well, let me tell you we had atleast 3 BN's with beer or boonz farm (hash wyne) nice.... Excellent SHITTY Trail laid by the hare little bit cold but then again this is Michigan I think.

We all headed on over to the ononon and had our circle outside not to damage the newly cleaned carpet with our beer. And the circle consisted offfff these down-downs: Toasting to G; Hare and Transplant and Competitive Clothing - Cumz in a Can (no bare skin on ice?); Returner - Just Sue and Just Jackie; Tallest Hasher and practicing drinking without cup leaving lips; - Just Mike; FRB - Ponygirl; DFL's - Just Jackie and Hot Lips (sharing the ice) and there was more but my long term memmory from that short term event is gone. On On to the Post Marathon hash. Where is Mikey? He likes everything? HL

Notes: No flashlights needed today. Hares needed for the future.

GRH3 Run # 160 Columbus Day, Post Polish Weekend and Birthday Hash

Pub Crawl (on a Monday?)

Monday / October 10th at 6:30pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: Logans Alley (parking lot)

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: 916 Michigan Street N.E.(between College and Fuller)- Grand Rapids

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies (bring extra cash for the pubcrawl)

Run Review: And Finally the review is here! Please take note that it was a great night to be hashing even for a pub crawl. The hash was short and sweet as we visited atleast 3 pubs and finally decided to have the circle before we had yet or did another. The circle was held inside Logans Alley with a bag of ice located on a wooden chair. That's ok we are only hashers. Here is a list of the offenses and allogations as noted: First toast of course was to G the starter of the Hash House Harriers; Hare was me - Hot Lips as it was my birthday and post Chicago Marathon Hash (whoops overachiever); Visitor and Alien (what planet?) - Carlos the Sex Visitor from England; Returners - Just Sue; FRB - Just Sue; DFL - Just Mike; SCB - none to be had; Socializing in the circle - Just Tom and Just Sue; Volunteering for a down-down - Carlos the Sex Visitor; None Running Bstrds - Tim B., Tom S. (from GR) and Len (potential hasher from Dayton, Ohio). Circle was closed with swing low sweet chariotte and several left the building. Those of us staying had a bit more to swallow before leaving for the night. On on to the future.

Notes: Bring a flashlight just in case

GRH3 Run # 159 Where is the Beer?


Sunday/Sept 24 at 7pm


Start Location: 304 Union Street between Cherry and Wealthy (call 490-8435 for instructions)

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: TBA

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies

Run Review: Beautiful night for a hash set by Twich. Small group but a good group with plenty of beer to be found. The hash trail was very nice with no shiggy that I saw or water/rain. Rain was a plenty earlier in the day jeepers almost thought we would have been washed out but G the founder was looking after us. No rain for you hashers this time... Circle was short and sweet and we headed over to Logans Alley for some PBR. Ahhhhh songs were sang and recruiting was happening in the mist of it all. Hope to see a virgin by the name of Doug out there at the next hash. Come on out Doug and all you other hashers. Don't forget the flashlights on the 10th. See you all then if not before. On-On HL

Notes: Volunteers needed for the beer check during the GR Marathon on October 30/Sunday. Please contact the Grand Mistress - Hot Lips

GRH3 Run # 158 "We Love Heiney" RUN

Hey! I'm talking about beer!

Sunday, September 18, 2005 at 7pm

Hare: TBA

Start Location: Fuller Park (Fuller and Michigan)

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: Di-Erections: From I-96 East toward Grand Rapids take Fuller Avenue exit #79 turn right/South onto Fuller - pass Michigan Street (light) - just pass the Speedway? there is an entrance into the Fuller Park - turn left/East and park near the cumdumster. Look for hashers you know what we look like.

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies

Run Review: Fuller Park is where we met for our event tonight. Hey we had a visitor by the name of Sextion 8 from the Carolina Trash - coooooool. He brough a virgin by the name of Tamara sweet - we like virgins yes we do. Marathondong graced us with his presence after a long abstinence. He did plenty of down-downs for all his whining ability. Just Mike came in from Lowell and was welcomed back with much rejoicing - yahhhh Lowell? Circle was with plenty of ice stacked every which way. We headed to Logans' the hash bar for those of us die hards. There we saw Fairy Potter and Dildo Biafra with excuses for not hashing. That's it for tonight - On On

Notes: TBA

GRH3 Run # 157 Post Labor Day Hyper Hash

Hyper Hash

Monday, September 12, 2005 at 7pm

Hare: Only the straw will tell?

Start Location: Riverside Park (Boat Launch #2 at the Island Shelter)

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Parking lot near the Home for the Blind

Di-Erections: Monroe Avenue between Ann Street and North Park Street/bridge: Get to US-131 and exit at Ann Street (which is between I-96 and I-196). Go East on Ann. Turn Left (North) on Monroe and go to the 2nd entrance to Riverside Park "Boat Launch #2) turning left/West follow the road to the Island Shelter and park.

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies

Run Review: Hashing again here we go.... Twich volunteered to set trail - sweeeeet. We gave him 15 minutes headstart (whoops who said HEAD?). Instead of Fr. Abraham we tried Fr. Benedick (he liked alter boys) and what hoot - we all just laughed and laughed. Then we were off when Twich returned. Didn't have to chase after him or catch him as he came back after 15 minutes to the start hey there are no rules. Great trail set by 1st time hare Twich. Riverside Park welcomed us with lots of trees for shade and water. Beer check was back at the hash car borrowed by Hot Lips (me). We didn't go back out hashing as she lost her borrowed car key. No prob just bring on the beer and snacks.

As darkness fell upon us we left the park before the gate closed and headed (head?) over to a near by parking lot for the circle. We all arrived safely with lights flickering off and on. Just enough light to right up the notes for this review. Here is the results of the circle: Hare (1st time at that)-Twich; FRB-NAG'N; Returner-Just Mike; FBI-Hot Lips; Returner-NAG'N; Shortcutting Bastards-Just Mike and Hot Lips; Overachieving Shirt-NAG'N; New Shoes (Cinderella Down-Down)-Twich; Not enough shiggy-Twich; Head Gear in the Circle-Just Mike and Twich; Lost Keys and shortening the Hash-Hot Lips; Cuming the farthest-Just Mike; and Tallest-Just Mike. I am sure there was more but I just couldn't see in the dark. On out for now - HL

Notes: TBA

GRH3 Run # 156 Post Overnight Recovery Hash

Left overs from the weekend and special appearance from Shanghai's own Buzz Lightyear

Monday, August 22, at 7:00pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: Home of the hare

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Home of Hot Lips

Di-Erections: Off Fuller between Knapp and Leonard N.E.

Hash Cash: $5.00 for beer and munchies

Run Review: Nice turn out for a Post Recovery Weekend. Was great to have all you out of towners visit us here in GR these included: Buzz Light Year from Shanghai, Toad the Wet Sprocket from Okinawa and his bro John from Cadillac. More writeup to cum...

Notes: TBA

GRH3 Run # 155 GRH3 Overnighter in Saugatuck

Cum for the day or cum for the night! Camp here on your way to IAH2005

Saturday, August 20th at 2:00pm

Hare: Ponygirl

Start Location: Run start will be at the Red Dock next to the Kewatin (the big boat on the water on the other side of the Blue Star Hwy bridge). A shuttle will leave from Washington Ave and Bandle St (at the 'Maisy and Me' sign) around two and we'll have a beer at the Red Dock while the hare is away. Look for a pack start of 2:30 PM so if you miss the shuttle, go directly to the Red Dock.

On-In Location: right to the OnOnOn

OnOnOn Location: Ponygirl's house, then swimming at the beach and dancing downtown

Di-Erections: Saugatuck, look at the map!

Hash Cash:

$15.00 for the weekend (beer, food, sex and a bag of swag including a GRH3 patch!)

$5.00 for the RUN ONLY (no swag, no food, no sex)

Run Review: A perfect turnout for the overnight hash in Saugatuck.. What a hot hot day - we sweeted like little piggies going oink oink. Hash good and good cold beer at the beer checks. Carpooling was accomplished and we were brought to the red dock? (outside bar near the old boat). A cold beverage was has by all us hashers as we waited for Mayor Mctick. More to cum including a naming of Just Paul to Shine my Knob.

Notes: Pitch a tent, bring a sleeping bag or hotel it! Room to spare. For more information, email ponygirl .

GRH3 Run # 154 School of GLAM Rock Run

NAGN presents NAGR

Monday, August 8 at 6:30pm

Hare: NAG'N

Start Location: Vitales Sports Bar on West River Drive, Comstock Park

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Logan's Alley on the deck

Di-Erections: TBA

Hash Cash: $5.00 hash cash

Run Review: Small group today for another hot summer day. Ahhh more water balloons so fun just love it don't you? Hash trail was fantastic and incredible in the Comstock Park area. Hey, I think I did this trail in the winter with SLAP and other hashers. Yes, I am correct. Great and wonderful trail set by our very own NAG'N. We now have a new name for a hash beer bag and that is NAGBA (not a gay bag) and if it isn't a gay bag then it will be called AGBA (another gay bag). We had so much beer left over (?) on trail it was incredible - where are all the hashers today?

Circle was held at Logan's with the hare departing before the circle even started. Proxies were many.... The hare NAG'N was also the FRB (?) - two downdowns were done by Just Steve (the trail was a shitty one with trespassing, drinking but more beer checks were needed as there was sufficiently plenty of beers. The virgin was Just Steve who was brought by NAG'N; DFL was Hot Lips; SCB's - none and 0; Leaving early like Just Jackie - NAG'N but a proxy was done by Twitch/Just Mark; Socializing in the circle - Twitch, Steve and Hot Lips and we all sang Rubber Dickie you are the one; Coming the farthest - Just Steve; I am sure there is more but the beverages were plenty tonight and that is all for todays hash - On out!!!!!!

Notes:------------------->buy a patch, buy a tee!

GRH3 Run # 153 'Sooo-long Sooo White' Pub Crawl

"I love beer, it loves me, it's my first pri-or-ity. In a bottle, keg or even in a can, free beer is my favorite brand."

Sunday, July 31 at 4:30pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: Logans Alley parking lot - 916 Michigan Street N.E.(between College and Fuller)

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: Logans

Di-Erections: TBA

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks (bring extra cash just in case)

Run Review: TBA

Notes:GRH3 patches $5.00 and T-zzzz's

GRH3 Run # 152 The Half-Mind Hasher Run

Drinking, Running and Walking... remember, it only takes half a mind to hash!

Sunday, July 24 at 4:00pm

Hare: Fairy Potter and Sooo White and the 7" Dwarf

Start Location: Palmer Park (County Park), Wyoming

On-In Location: A to A

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: Entrance is off of 52nd Street between Clyde Park and Burlingame (just West of Clyde Park)

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Loved Palmer Park great place for a hash with many trails and shiggy. Water balloons again? Yes..... Much and much greenery was seen during this hash it kept us quite cool from the sunny hot day of another 90 degrees. A creek was found on trail and Hot Lips jumped in and cooled herself off - sweet. The other hashers just enjoyed the hotness of the day. The beer was of course very cold and delicious at the beer checks ahhhhh refreshing is all I have to say.

As we all headed (who said head? I'll take some of that and I did) to the on-in it turned into a competitive race to the finish. Sweeeeeeet I like the competition (not like the hash in general to do that, hmmm). The circle was formed and began with a toast to G (founder of the hash) then you know: Hares were on the ice w/SHITTY TRAIL song sang - Fairy Potter and Sooo White and the 7" Dwarf; Visitor and friend of Ponygirl from Ann Arbor - Just Chris; FRB won the competition)- Ponygirl; DFL - Sooo White and the 7" Dwarf; Lost Gear - Sooo White and the 7" Dwarf; Bringing Breasts to the Hash - Hot Lips; Last to arrive at the hash - Just Chris; Tallest Hasher again - Fairy Potter; Secretarial duties - Hot Lips; Naming - Just Eric has been officially named "Restricted Access" and you ask why? it is a needs to know basis only; LCW - Just Eric (Restricted Access). Short circle for todays hash with socializing for a time then on-on we went to other ???????


GRH3 Run # 151 Monday is a Wanking Day RUN

cause it's too hot for anything else!

Monday, July 18 at 7:00pm

Hare: Ponygirl

Start Location: Millenium Park

On-In Location: A to B run with shuttle back to the start

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: Meet in the first parking lot. The trail starts back at the entrance. Meet for swimming BEFORE the run as the lagoon closes at 8:00 PM. There will be NO wet water crossings on this trail! Millenium Park is located off Maynard Street NW. Go to the website http://www.millennium-park.org

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Who hash the hash notes for the review and Hash $$$?

Notes: Mister Bush

GRH3 Run # 150 Off we go into the wild and crazy areas of River Town Crossing Mall

A mall crawl? no.. a walking crawl thru the suburbs

Monday / July 11th at 7:00pm

Hare: Just Evan and Just Eric

Start Location: Best Buy - 4830 Wilson Avenue SW (Rivertown Crossing Mall)

On-In Location: TBA at the hash

OnOnOn Location: A park close to Wilson and Chicago Drive

Di-Erections: from Grand Rapids take 131 South to 44th Street turning right/West - take this just pass Rivertown Crossing Mall turning left/South at Wilson - look for Best Buy on the left/East side of the street - Look for hashers you know who we are.

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Oh my gosh was it a hot day or eve for a hash. As we did our calastenics we noticed A fellow hashers husband (what's his name again?) drive by and speed into the distance. Would have been great to have him stop by and join us in our run/walk for the eve. Too bad that she didn't come to the hash tonight. Do we know who we mean? We all moved very slowley in the heat ouch ouch good thing we all had shoes of sorts on or we could have burned our tootsies. More to cum in time..... and the time has cum to continue the story.....

Where are the water balloons ahhh yes throw another at me please. The beer was cold at both beer checks sure was a good thing to have on this hot 3 mile crawl. Lots of socializing was taking place on trail as we were all trying to decide on a name for Just Evan who is heading to England soon. We sure came up with a good one for him wait and see. A very nice playground was located as those of us on the Eagle trail (actually Turkey) played and waited for the rest of the group. Good one hares - just got to say that. Then finally we came to the on-in - nice very nice.

The circle was included with these things of interest: I first have to say the notes were written on a cardboard box that the chhhhhips were in - nice. Here we go and it's short and sweet: Hares please note - Just Eric and Just Evan; FRB - HO2; DFL - Fairy Potter; Technology on Trail - Hot Lips (sandwiched between 2 bags of ice); Returner - Sex Bomb (returning from having tonsils removed); Latest and Greatest Naming - Just Evan has been named "Sooo White and the 7" Dwarf" and if you want details please ask Sooo White, hmmmmmm. Small group tonight but no prob we always enjoy ourselves.

On On to the next Hash - Hot Lips

Notes: Hares needed for future events

GRH3 Run # 149 Where's the Water Balloons? I know - I know


Monday / June 27 at 7:00pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: Northeast Middle School Parking lot - Fuller NE (between Leaonard and Knapp)???? Take a guess is this the actual start location? You know it - it is not.

On-In Location: Home of the Hare

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: TBA

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Everyone made it to the home of the Hare for the start of the hash. Hot-hot summer day! As we gathered water balloon fights where started - so much laughter and fun. We were all drenched by the time we headed out on trail. I the hare carried extra water balloons for dispersement later. Sure felt great - yes it did. More to cum......................... The time has cum to finish this write-up. The trail was very involved as with streets, schools, running thru Huff Park on the trails (staying cool in the shades of wooden areas), even thru the cemetary were we stopped for a moment at my daughter Natalie's little area. A moment of meditation/prayer was had..... Very carefully continuation was on-on till we reached the on-in.

Ahhh the on-in which included more water balloons thrown, a picnic and of course the circle: 1st was for Just Jackie leaving early again (sit on the ice you glory hound); Just Jackie also received one for wearing long pants on trail (hottest hash of the year?); DFL was HO2; FRB's - Cocoa Puffs, Just Eric and Jackedoff (we sang God bless their underpants); SCB - Fairy Potter; Ziggy Zaggy for messing up a verse to a hash song - Just Evan and Cocoa Puffs; Hare was yours truly Hot Lips (shitty trail); Head Gear during a religious event - Just Evan (we sange skippy the squirrel for Where's My Nuts who is in Afghanistan-Army); Giving us a fullmoon - Just Eric; Returners - Jackedoff (and when one GM drinks all past and present drink) this included me; Another Returner - Ho2; Military down-down - for Just Eric; Leaving circle yet another time - Hot Lips (and Jackedoff) and Whitest and tallest Hashers - Just Evan and Fairy Potter (another good arzzzz show).

No hash for the weekend of the 4th as we are out and about - next hash is the 11th look for details. Just Evan and Just Eric where are you? On - On to hashing..... HL

Notes: Hares needed for future events

GRH3 Run # 148 Summer Here We Cum

Hot Tub here we Cum

Monday / June 20 at 7:00pm

Hare: Just Paul and Just Evan (all virgins) and where is Just Eric?

Start Location: Ken-o-sha Park / official address: 1353 Van Auken SE Grand Rapids, MI (off Kalamazoo SE - between 28th and 36th Streets) - look for us you know who we are

On-In Location: Home of the hare

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: 1. Take 44th Street to Kalamazoo turn North - pass 36th Street and turn left at Van Auken be careful of speed bumps - Elementary School is on the right side of the rode so is the trail head - look for hashers........in the backside.

2. Take 28th Street to Kalamazoo turn South - turn right at Van Auken be careful of speed bumps - Elementary School and trail head is on the right side of the rode - look for hashers in the backside.

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Nice nice and very nice trail. Beautiful Kenosha Park with lots of streams, shiggy and trails. Warm summer day waited so long for it. Just Evan gave the chalk talk and Fr. Abe was proceeded upon with a low flying helocopter viewing our funness. Out we went on trail - darn it we had to run thru prickleys which stung like crazy ouch-ouch! Where is the water, the mud any thing even beer on our legs. Streams were plentyful so cool on our toesies. Oh, I have something in my shoe? Oh it's not my feet what is it? Hmmm, who said that? Trail was short and sweet and 2 of the 3 BN's were ignored? There was plenty left for the circle. The playgrounds were fantastic with toys for us biguns - so fun. I want to cum here again sometime soon. A caravan was produced and we headed over to Just Paul's for circle, fooods of plenty and hot tubbing.

misdeamenors and allogations from the circle to cummmmm soon: Hare or Hares - Evan and Paul "Shitty Trail"; Virgin - Jesse; FRB - Jesse; DFL - Jackie and Hot Lips; Overachiever - Jesse; SCB - Ponygirl; Came the Farthest - Ponygirl; Identical clothing - Cocoa Puffs, Eric, and Paul; Volunteering to Sit on the Ice - Jesse; Pissing on Flour Trail - Jesse; Hat in the Circle Once Again - Faggin Wagon; Staying on the high ground (shoes not wet) - Ponygirl; I know that Eric did something to sit on the ice does anyone recall? Thank you to Just Paul for having us at his humble abode. Ahhhh if you visit Paul remember not to have ice in your coctails as it is Butt Ice - teeeeee heeee. "Hot Lips"

Notes: Hares needed for future events please contact Hot Lips

GRH3 Run # 147 Squirt Gun Hash

Waiting oh why are we waiting? What are we waiting for? warm weather - YES!!!

Picnic afterwards at home of Hot Lips

Sunday, June 12 at 4:00pm

Hare: Cocoa Puffs

Start Location: Aquinas College Field House (parking lot - off Fulton Street SE / between Plymouth and Fuller)

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: From I-96 East toward Grand Rapids take Fuller Avenue exit #79 turn right/South onto Fuller - pass Michigan Street (light) continue to the next light which is Fulton Street. Turn left/East onto Fulton passing St. Thomas School and Church - Aquinas College "Field House" will be on the right/South side. Look for hashers you know what we look like.

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks (donations requested for picnic at home of Hot Lips)

Run Review: Very nice hash set by Cocoa Puffs...... We had the Aquinas College Security waiting to join us today - what joy was had we love extra friends. Thank you to who ever called Aquinas Security it was just too fun we love you!!!!! We all brought our squirt guns of mass destruction and had them filled with what ever you/they wished?) Beautiful course thru the campus and I can say one of the best hashes in awhile. The streams were clean and fun to splash in and the trails lead on for ever. Beverages were consumed in moderation ahhhhhh much rejoicing. What was that you carrying with you Faggin Wagon? What ever it was twas deliciousus.

Circle time and picnic was held at the home of Hot Lips. We all caravaned on over waiting to use the hose to spray our muddy slobery bodies off. Circle with down-downs were like this: A toast to G who started the hash; Hare of today-Cocoa Puffs (loved the trail yes we all did); SCB-Faggin Wagon; Virgins-Paul and Evan (sat back to back on the ice); Returner;Just Eric (friend of Where's My Nuts/Melissa); DFL Running the Trail Backwards-Fairy Potter; Ziggy Zaggy-Hot Lips (bad hair day from beer poured on); Glory Hound-Just Jackie; Steal..in Circle-Just Jackie; Technology on Trail-Crystal Gal; Having dry shoes-Pony Girl; FRB-Just Ryan; Tallest Hasher once again-Fairy Potter (close competition with Just Paul). Three bags of ice were melted ouch ouch - bare arsssss on it and one more ouch. Thanks all for coming to the hash and picnic. Great time had by all - On Out "Hot Lips."

Notes: T-shirts available from your mis-management

GRH3 Run # 146 Boys in Blue Run

Wear BLUE to show support for our local police!

Monday, June 6th at 7:00pm (7:00 PM start, leave Rocky's at 6:45!)

Hare: ponygirl

Start Location: Park at the OnOnOn and walk 3/4 mile to GRPD HQ - 1 Monroe Center NW (between Ionia & Division) and don't forget to wear BLUE!

On-In Location: A to B at the OnOnOn

OnOnOn Location: Rocky's Bar & Grill, 633 Ottawa NW

Di-Erections: From Saugatuck take I-196 to downtown Grand Rapids ?E

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: At the start of the hash we entered Rocky's and found a Shanghai hasher by the name of Sex Bomb and her virgin friend Erin. Ahhhh yet another friend of Buzz Light Year. A touch of beer was consumed and we headed out to the GRPD downtown. Ponygirl the hare made an announcement that this would be a live hash and maybe the last. We gave him a 10 min? headstart as Fr. Abe was enjoyed by us as well as the spectators. Chalk talk and intro's were taken in stride as the trail was instintly found and off we went. Ahhhh so quiet running thru the streets of GR on a Monday night - hashing trail consisted of rode, sidewalks, river crossing with out getting our toesies wet, grass and on and on. Cold beverages were located near the beer near and was consumed with gratitude for the hot day. As the trail was picked up again we were off and running..... even our walkers were running. I gave myself a wedgie and Sex Bomb also gave herself one as we scrambled over a fence. Fairy Potter and Faggon Wagon were seen short cutting to the on-in as we lost trail by the river. As the trail was lost we all headed in as that was the consensis. We waiting for the hare but he was out and about..... Ahhhhh he finally arrived and circle was started on the deck at Rockys.

Here is a list of offenses, allegations or what have you: Hare setting a hot shitty trail - Ponygirl; Virgin - Just Erin brought in by Sex Bomb; Transplant from Shangaii to GR - Sex Bomb (she knows Buzz Light Year); Autowanking and a over achieving shirt - Marathondong; Overachieving shirt for a 10miler in Chicago - Crystal Gal; Cuming the farthest distance (Shanghaii) - Sex Bomb; Cuming late to the circle - Just Katie (Erin's friend); DFL - Ponygirl; FRB's and stacken em on the ice - Faggon Waggon and Fairy Potter; Hashing in Chicago (1st out of town hash) Cocoa Puffs and (instigating) Hot Lips; Tallest hasher our one and only - Fairy Potter. That's all for this hash - On On till next Sunday "Hot Lips"

Notes: Hash Tzzzzz available

From the OFFICIAL "City of Grand Rapids" website!

Socially involved people are 2 to 5 times less likely to suffer from heart disease.
Every mile walked adds an average of 21 minutes to a person's life.
66,000 deaths annually could be prevented through regular physical exercise.
Girls who participate in sports help increase bone density to combat osteoporosis in later life.


It's a Holiday

Monday, May 30th at 7:00pm

Hare: Nag'n

Start Location: 1232 Oaklawn, Grand Rapids

On-In Location: NE GR

OnOnOn Location: back yard - party time

Di-Erections: From 28th Street take US 131 North towards downtown Grand Rapids ?Emerge onto I-96 right/East towards Lansing ?Etake the Plainfield Avenue Exit #33. At the light turn left/West onto Plainfield Avenue NE and then a left/South onto Fuller Avenue NE ?EPass 3 Mile Road and turn left/East onto Oaklawn Street. Look for hashers you know who we are don't you?

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Nag'n's first official hash with his new name and also the hare for the day - like it don't we? Where is Mikey he likes everything? All us hashers gathered for our weekly (weekly?) hash gathering - Introductions were made with chalk talk of flower and chalk marks. Fairy Potter lead us in calastenics with our fav Fr. Abraham..... Off we went thru residential streets and sidewalks of the the area. Some how we ended up in Huff Park with a beer near which was found quickly. Faggin Wagon was lost right off and missed the beer check. Never did catch up with him. Hot-Hot day it was and the beverages were cold and there was much rejoicing "tasty treats good to drink." Off we went again trying to keep the pack together but alas those short cutting Bastards wouldn't listen to the hare. Those of us willing to follow the true trail continued on wooden paths and trails until another BN. Yummy!!!!! Many hashers were gunshy to go into the paths thinking of pI. For 2 weeks in a row with Faggin Wagon (Texas) and Jackedoff (Georgia) setting trail there was an over abundance of pI and we all suffered and whined!!!!!

At the On-In the shortcutting bastards were already consuming food and beverages galore. Circle was started immediately as wondering hashers were scattering about. The toast to "G" started the down-downs which consisted of: the Hare - Nag'n for a shitty trail (loved it) and additional down-down for wearing headgear; Virgin - Just Sharon who came with Faggin Wagin; Returners (stack em up on ice) - Marathondong, Wet XXX Yet, Just Ryan (came with Just Jackie); Visitors - Cream of Meat (came with Faggin) and Big Rig-Reading, PA Hasher (came with Hot Lips); leaving circle to socialize - Nag'n; Veterans and wearing military clothing - Nag'n (Marine), Cream of Meat, and Hot Lips; Overachiever shirt for 5k race - Fairy Potter; FRB - Faggin Wagon; DFL (sweeping trail) - Hot Lips; Non-drinking Fck - Just Jackie; Trying to skipout early - Just Ryan; came the farthest - Big Rig and Cream of Meat; Tallest hasher - Fairy Potter; socializing in circle - Nag'n and Cream of Meat. Swing Low was performed then announcements of future hashes and a weekender for us coming up in July by Cadillac. We all cleaned up and headed out in the dark dark night after the hash. Thank you Nag'n for usuage of your yardage. Excellent Trail!!!!!!! Heading for Chicago for the POP hash on Saturday is Hot Lips and Cocoa Puffs.

On-On till next week "HL"

Notes: T-shirts available from your mis-management

GRH3 Run # 144 Kill Off the Weak Neurons Run

"Listen to your brain!"

Monday, May 23 at 7:00pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: Fuller Park (off Fuller - near Michigan Street)

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: From I-96 East toward Grand Rapids take Fuller Avenue exit #79 turn right/South onto Fuller - pass Michigan Street (light) and right after the Speedway on left/East side of the rode is the entrance to Fuller Park - put your blinker on and turn in. Look for the GRH3 Hashers - you know who we are

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: It was a nice short shitty run around Fuller Park. He Likes it-Mikey couldnÕt even make it through Father Abraham without blowing his knee out - Ouch was said thru out the trails. Hot Lips promised no Poison Ivy and there was non - I like it - where is Mikey? There was an actual porta potty to run thru? and lots of playground equipment for all of us to play on. Plenty of hills and trails - cool!!!!

For blowing out his knee Mikey received his favorite down-down of beer; other down downs were as follows: Hare and FBI-Hot Lips; Has a hare ever been FBI? DFL- Just Matt; Who was also named tonight. His new name is--Dildo Biafra...... Head gear in circle (who said head)? Hot Lips, Just Mark, and again Faggin Waggin. Will he ever learn? Returners were Pony Girl, Just Danielle, and Crystal Gayle (we made them stack it on the ice with Ponygirl on the bottom and Just Danielle and Crysal Gayle on each of his knees. Driving the furthest HoHo; Tallest Hasher Fairy Potter Dressing the Same: 1.He Likes It and Faggin Waggin 2. Sud Sniffer, Hot Lips, and Fairy Potter. Wearing too much red was Just Danielle; For peeing in the circle was Dildo Biafra; did we mention the virgin - Just Mark? He really enjoyed sitting on the ice and getting whipped by Hot Lips as did all; and what the hell down down was to Crystal Gayle - I am totally confused.... On On for now - Ho Ho

Notes: T-shirts available from your mis-management

GRH3 Run # 143 Post River Bank Hash (not another 25k please?)

Over-Achievers... where are you?

Sunday, May 15 at 2:00 pm

Hare: Jackedoff (we like GM's past and present)

Start Location: Johnson Park - Grandville

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: Johnson Park is located off Butterworth. From 196 take exit 70B/Grandville (Wilson Avenue) Go West on Wilson to Butterworth turning right at the light. Go to the second parking lot on the left side and look for hashers.

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Over the river and through the... What? Poison ivy? What does that look like? Unfortunately we all know now. It was a shitty trail set by Jackdoff. Poison ivy, creek crossings, and rock surfing. What a mess and the hare was asked do you know what poison ivy looks like and he said no? Must be that Georgia life style where he is from. Don't they have PI in Georgia?

Accusations went to the hare, Jackdoff and also for leaving early as normal. Our virgin of the day was Just Ryan brought by Just Jackie (her new boytoy). FBI was speedracer Just Kim and FRB was Faggin Waggin. For Head (who said head)? gear in the circle, not once but 3 times was Faggin Waggin. Driving the farthest was Ho Ho. Short cutting bastard, tallest hasher, and DFL was Fairy Potter. For wearing a competitive t-shirt was Hot Lips. And of course for those overachievers who actually ran in the River Bank Run was Hot Lips 25k and Fairy Potter 5k.

On On till next week this is Ho Ho signing off.

Notes: Hash Tzzzz Shirts

GRH3 Run # 142 "Faggin's VII Annual Shitty Shiggy Shortcut"

It takes years of practice to be this shitty!

Monday, May 9 at 6:30pm

Hare: Faggin Wagon

Start Location: Lamar Park (2651 Porter St Wyoming, MI 49519)

On-In Location: Home of the Hare

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: - US-131 to Burton St (WEST) exit. Follow the "sun" for the directionally challenged. - Follow Burton (west) to Burlingame Ave. - At Burlingame turn a hard LEFT (straight south) one block to Porter. - Turn RIGHT (west) on to Porter. - Follow Porter past Byron Center go one more block and take first Lamar Park entrance. - We are in the BACK parking lot behind the tennis courts behind the gazeebo behind the climbing wall.

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Hashers certainly go beyond the bounds of good taste, but we are never in need of a police escort. But hours before the hash, our illustrious (or just lust-filled) Faggin?EWagon hears a knock on his door. Surprise! ItÕs WyomingÕs best. The officer was there to insure there will be no sloshing of suds in the cityÕs park. Faggin?EWagon fostered his cutest hare smile and assured we would play by the rules. Someone has been kind enough to include the local men in blue (or black) in on our activities. It seems such a great use of limited resources sending the boys in blue to check on us so often. Maybe we can make a few friends at the ?Ea href="http://www.tblofmi.com/shop/product_info.php?products_id=74">Runnin?Ewith the Law?E5K, May 21st.

The gray skies held back their rain as we started our quest in muggy 80 degree temps (maybe the police can keep the humidity from mugging us.) With five new virgins, their eyes needed time to see the signs--chalk and surveyors tape (chalk doesnÕt show up well on thorns and barbwire.) The often used checks keep the pack in a group keeping the FRBs at bay. At an early check, we were greeting by two hounds from another pack--desperately needed a beer or a raw steak. Hard to believe they could bark louder than true hashers, and the tails they told--or held high.

Around the bend into the thick of it, shiggy grabbed and torn at our clothes, scraped and puncturing our flesh. One choice on the trail--scratchy bush (Faggin?Emust have something against a neat trim or a bit of waxing--but seeing his cars, heÕs really into waxing--must have the full Karate Kid collection) or penetrating thorns--Jesus! They could be painful--donÕt get cross with me. But the pack wore on bounding through sewage overflow ponds (truly shitty thing to do), more thorns and barbwire.

SCB and FBI was Hot Lips followed by FRB Just Jack. We convoyed to Faggin?EWagonÕs abode, following the Musturd Mobile and circled up in his basement. Faggin?EWagon was first on the ice for haring such a shitty trail. Just Steve, overcome with and ingrown hare, fancied himself a creamy peanut butter bun. We welcomed the virgins, Just Steve, Just Mary, Just Jack, Just Mandy, and Just Sarah. The allegations and offenses were as follows: Bleeding on trail was Just Mandy, socializing in the circle were Just Jackie, Just Sarah, and Just Kim. Hot Lips had to then pay for her shortcutting. Returning was Just Kim. And ŅI donÕt want to get my shoes wet so I take them off to cross a wee bit of dampness?Ewas Just Steve--better watch this harrier--he probably lifts his pinky to do his down-downs. Just Jackie was punished for her need to leave every hash early. LBI was Just Mary. And poor old yours truly, Fairy Potter, was once again singled out for my grand stature and had to do an extended down-down upon the ice for being the tallest hasher.

Just Kenn was asked to leave the circle for his naming. Many stories were brought up, but Just Mandy let the pussy out of the pouch, Just Kenn told her that he didnÕt want a gay name. OOOoooo! What fun. So it became clear: we baptized Just Kenn with his new name-- NAGÕN - Not A Gay Name. On on!

Notes: Your Mis-Management has the T'zzzzzz

GRH3 Run # 141 Hawaiian Lei Day

Cum and Get Leid

Sunday, May 1 at 2:00 pm

Hare: Ho Ho (Hands on Hands Off)

Start Location: Aman Park off Lake Michigan Drive in Standale

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: Take 131 to I-196 West toward Holland. That's 196 NOT 96. Get off at the Lake Michigan Drive exit (M-45) toward Standale. - Continue on Lake Michigan Drive (M-45) WEST toward Grand Valley University - Go past Wilson Ave (light) and thru another stop light in the country about a mile or so out. Keep going until you pass 14th Ave where shortly after you will see a sign for Indian Trails Camp on the right-hand side after the farm. This is the entrance for Aman Park - If you go down down a "big" hill on Lake Michigan Drive you've gone too far!

Turn right (north) into Aman Park. Park in the parking lot that is 500 yards down on the right-hand side. Do NOT turn right into Indian Trails Camp at the end of the road ?Ea big no no! The parking lot is just before the camp entrance. Look for hashers. Indian Trails Camp is private property and it is important that we do not tresspass due to liability with their campers. We will be staying in Aman Park. On-On!

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: TBA

Notes: T-shirts get your hash tzzzzzzz

GRH3 Run # 140 Tzzzzz Me Plzzzzz Me ????

A to B Hash (Wear your new GRH3 Tzzzzz as we will be going to our sponsors locations. If you don't have yours yet they will be available at the hash before heading out. "Who Said Head?"

Sunday, April 24 at 2:00 pm

Hare: Just Kenn and Just Mark

Start Location: 1232 Oaklawn N.E.

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: TBA

Di-Erections: From 28th Street take US 131 North towards downtown Grand Rapids ?Emerge onto I-96 right/East towards Lansing ?Etake the Plainfield Avenue Exit #33. At the light turn left/West onto Plainfield Avenue NE and then a left/South onto Fuller Avenue NE ?EPass 3 Mile Road and turn left/East onto Oaklawn Street NE ?Ehouse is on the right/South side 1232 Oaklawn Street NE. Look for hashers and the hash flag

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: TBA

Notes: T-shirts available

GRH3 Run # 139 Spring Forward you Hashers

Post April Fools?

Sunday / April 10 at 2:00 pm


Start Location: Richmond Park off of Richmond Street N.W. - Walker

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: Logan's Alley located on Michigan Street (outside on the deck please....)

Di-Erections: Merge onto US-131 North towards Grand Rapids take (exit 87) Leonard Street ?Estaying straight on Scribner Avenue NW ?Eat the light which is Leonard turn left/West. Continue to follow Leonard Street ?E2nd light is Alpine Avenue turn right/North ?Epass 3 or 4 streets? When you reach Richmond Street turn left/West ?Estraight maybe 1Ś2 mile and Richmond Park will be on your right side. Turn right into the drive way and park closest to the city pool area. Look for hashers

Hash Cash: five bucks for beverages of the finest degree (beer and ?) snackaroos too

Run Review: Great hash turnout and a 75F day - I liked it and big big thank you to Cocoa Puffs for haring. Several beer nears were out and about on trail which included excellent beers and jello shots with a zap to them (found in easter eggs). GRH3 Tzzzz were available at the start of the hash - nice very nice. We had several virgins (Names TBA), a returning GM by the name of Jackedoff (good stufff - like returners), a visitor by the name of Oma from Orange County, CA. Just a shorty for now - Hot Lips lost in Indy

Notes: T-shirts available from your hash mis-management.....

GRH3 Run # 138 The Easter Bunny Hash (The Easter Bunny is cumming!)

Easter Beer Hunt (wear your bunny outfits)

Saturday / March 26, 2005 at 2:00 pm

Hare: Hot Lips

Start Location: Huff Park (parking lot on Aberdeen N.E.) Aberdeen is located offffff of Fuller between Knapp and 3 Mile

On-In Location: Huff Park - picknic table area?

OnOnOn Location: Birch Lodge - Michigan/Eastern

Hash Di-Erections: From I-96 East toward Grand Rapids take Fuller Avenu exit #79 turn left/North ont Fuller - pass Leonard and Knapp (lights) continue pass the cemetary and at Fuller Pharmacy turn right onto Aberdeen - Huff Park is possibly 1/2 mile on right side. Pull into the parking lot and look for hashers

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Great pre-Easter hash...... We all thought of spring with our pastel colored outfits which included 3 bunnies hmmm who could they be? I think they were me, Just Melissa and Just Jackie. The time is here for more of a write-up. What a group and the day before Easter - and we were off!!!! Huff Park welcomed us with a bit of snow and dry areas for running/walking. A check was found with several false trails then On-On was yelled and off we went.... The boardwalk felt good under my feet.... BN was seen and we headed over to the viewing area/culdusac? for beverages brought by us hares. Yummmy, boonsfarm and beer good hash beverages were consumable items. A hash song or two was sung and off we went again looking for trail...... "more to cum"

Notes: T-shirts will be available in April. More info to cum.

Hash Pics!

GRH3 Run # 137 St. Patty's Jig Hash

Shamrocks and such

Saturday, March 12, 2005 at 2:00pm

Hares: He Likes It "Mikey" and Hot Lips

Start Location: 2585 Delaat SW - Wyoming

On-In Location: Hot Tub

ONONON Location: Home of He Likes It "Mikey" (HOT-TUB PARTY!!!!!!)

Di-Erections: 2585 Delaat SW - Wyoming

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: Great-Fantastic-Wonderful-White-Michigan-Weather!!!!! Where is the green? Isn't Spring here yet? Here I am finally writing more of this past hash. Beverages for warmth were consumed at the home of Mikey as were orders for our new hash t-shirts. Quickly, we left out on trail with Just Kenn leading the way. What a wank of a Marine - we love you!!! Marks were made with the norm of flour and chalk on the sidewalks/rodes that were dry. A turkey/eagle trail was found but all headed out on the eagle, hmmmmm I think we are all over achieving today. The first beer check was located near a covered building in a gorgeous neighborhood park. Ahhhhh I have to say someone better pass around the schnapps as my feet are a bit cold. Hash songs were sang with happiness and we all participated in making hash angels in the snow. So fun.... hope those pictures turn out so they can be on the web. On more trail thru paths and shiggy and a coal mine of sorts.... BEER NEAR I heard close by and then it was found and consumed for every more - ahhhhhhhh. Out we went with more trail - oh no!!!!! More railroad tracks - yikes!!!!! Kind of different running on those in the snow. Where is the ground? On and on we went and I think another BN? Yes, that is right yet another one.... We were all getting just a weee bit thirsty looking for the green irish beer?

On-In was seen and the hash group headed in thoughts of a nice warm hot tub waiting for us - nice, very nice. I like it and so does Mikey. We all like it, too.

Into the hot tub we all went with table sat on the side for easy access to beverages and edibles. The circle was of course in the warmth of a heated hot tub - thank you Mikey!!!! Allogations and offenses were brought up and these consisted of many:::: Hares-Hot Lips and Mike "He Likes It"; Incorrect use of names-Fairy Potter; Virgins-Just Kim and Just Jerry; peeing on trail-Just Kenn, Just Jerry, Mikey and Hot Lips; cuming the farthest-Just Jerry; FRB-Just Jerry; FBI-Just Melissa and Just Kim (tied together); Pointing-Just Melissa; DFL-Mikey and Hot Lips (sweeping trail); birthdays-Just Kim (21) and Just Jerry; her royal anus (not drinking beer)-Just Jackie; Military down down-Just Kenn, Just Melissa, Just Jerry, and Mikey; wearing green in the hot tub-Cocoa Puffs, Hot Lips, Fairy Potter and Mikey; hashing sisters-Just Kim and Just Jackie; and of course for use of the hash hot tub and hash house-Mikey. Thank you and thank you once again.

Notes: GRH3 T-shirts will be available soon. More info to cum.

Hash Pics!

GRH3 Run # 136 Love Stinks Hash

sex is better than love anyway

Saturday, February 19, 2005 at 2:00pm

Hare: Just Melissa and Just Kenn

Start Location: Highland Park - parking lot

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: BOB's Sports Bar - 725 Michigan Avenue N.E (by Eastern/across from Birch Lodge)

Di-Erections: From I96 (Gerald R Ford Freeway) going East take College Exit #78 at the stop sign turn South at Michigan turn East/left and go straight. At Eastern Street turn North/left then West/left onto Frontage Street. At Highland Park look for parking near the playground. Look for other hash vehicles (on-on bumper stickers).

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: A Bright sun shiney day at the park as we all gathered. Just Melissa and Just Kenn greated us with beverages for warmth before Fr. Abraham. Heading out we found markings of red spray paint on white snow - very cool and appropriate red for "Love Stinks Hash." Many marks were found as we continued on trail. I do have to say there was plenty of red. Plenty of shiggy was located and on into it we went thru brambles, snow, mud, bushes up into the wilds of Highland Park. Hmmm, is this in the city? As I swept the trail for stragglers - I heard Beer Check in the distance. Jello shots and beer was found and consumed while we rejoiced with hash songs. The S&M Man was sung with new hashers wondering about several verses - nasty. Yogi Bear was definitly sung with many great verses as we were in the deep dark woods of the park. We left the area with our empties in tow. On On was heard and we were back on trail again. On up and on down hills and valleys we went - on and on and on.... I have no idea where we were most of the time as I lost my sense of direction. Plenty of snow and cold, burrrr.

All present where enjoying the hash as I could hear talking, laughter and giggling a plenty going on (I also contributed to this of course). Somewhere along the way we also enjoyed the playground with the climbing stuff, slide, swings, etc. I do recall railroad tracks that we ran on for a good while then all of a sudden "BN". Someone yelled BN and then and then again ahhhh it was located. Seems like we were invading upon someones home under this bridge. We blew our whistles and yelled just to hear the echoing sounds made. If you ever ask me if I will grow up I will say never no never as long as the Hash House Harriers are around.

On on as trail was found. Running or walking doesn't matter as we headed on in. The group gathered for a few minutes before Just Melissa yelled: one more BN to be found!!!! Out looking for the lost BN and it was found with much rejoicing by all. At the vehicles we were greeted by two police cars. Always nice to have friends stop by. We all went over and welcomed them. The officers were invited to come out to run/walk with us any time. They seemed to like that idea. Thank you to who ever invited the police the bigger the group the better. I think they would have enjoyed the terain more if they could have joined us earlier. All in all it was a great hash as we headed (who said head?) over to Bob's for the OnOnOn.

Circle was held inside where there was much rejoicing of warmth. Dick came over and joined us in the circle. Great guy if you ask me - very cool. Down-downs consisted of: Hares - Just Melissa and Just Kenn; Shitty Trail was the award given; Virgins - Jesse, Sue, Mike and Jacki; Jacki was given a special one with a shot for her Royal Anus; FRB and FBI - Nicole; Naming - Nicole from Kalamazoo will forever more to be in the hashing world be called COCOA PUFFS (if you want to know the story ask anyone); DFL - Just Mike; Falling on trail - Just Jacki; SCB - Fairy Potter and Just Mike; Head gear during circle - Just Mike; Coming the farthest - COCOA PUFFS; Being to quiet - Ho Ho; Only one with hash attire - Hot Lips; Birthdays - Just Melissa and Jackie; Returner - Fairy Potter. Seems like there were many more allogations that I may not have added. We did reopen the circle once or twice - Just Kenn where are you?

Thank you to the hares - for a great trail once again and most of all to Dick at Bob's... On On - Hot Lips

Notes: GRH3 T-shirts will be available for sale soon. We will be asking for $$$ upfront for anyone wanting one or two or three. More info to cum.

Hash Pics!

GRH3 Run # 135 Super Bowl Hash

show us your tits!
Sunday, February 6, 2005 at 2:00pm

Hare: Just Nicole

Start Location: Autodie (44 Coldbrook) - parking lot

On-In Location: TBA

OnOnOn Location: Teazers Bar & Grill, 819 Ottawa Avenue (459-2481)

Di-Erections: Autodie - parking lot (entrance on Ottawa). From the East take I-96 towards Grand Rapids - take College Avenue Exit #78 - turn right on College - at Leonard turn left - Monroe turn left - Coldbrook turn left - turn right onto Ottawa and the entrance is right there. Note: Parking lot is also across from the Grand River (corner of Monroe/Ottawa/Coldbrook). This is just South of Monroe/Leonard intersection.

Hash Cash: five bucks for beer and snacks

Run Review: So there I was............ It was your typical b-e-a-utiful February day in Grand Rapids. And for those of you who know what I mean, you know I'm sayin' it was overcast, cold, with half the ground wet and the other half of the ground, well.. wet also. Only a bunch of Half-minds would go out on a crappy day like that, and on a Sunday to boot. But not just any Sunday. No! Virgin Hare, Just Nicole, had a dream. A dream and a plan. A plan so diabolical as to draw out the masses with the intent of showing all the world that she was no longer a virgin. Hare that is.

No one forgets the first trail they ever laid; or the first trail they got laid on - but either way Just Nicole was out to make a name for herself to no end or both ends, "120. 121 whatever it takes". Anyway, this trail was going to go down in the history books, but no one will even notice as it was a special day. The Sunday of all Sunday's. The Sunday that any experienced hasher would say to himself, "Self? If I wanted NO one to show up to my hash, what Sunday would I choose?" And other than the obvious answer of "Overcast, cold, wet Sunday in February" the astounding answer comes back, "Super Bowl Sunday".

And not show up is exactly what everyone except Fairy Potter, Hot Lips and myself, Faggin' Wagon did. So who are the Half-minds here? Well, let me make a long story longer. To sum it up Just Nicole laid a virgin trail that kicked so much ass... we, um. We... hmmmm. Went home ass-less. Especially after having it chewed off at the bar JUST before we were kicked out by what little ass we had left. More on that later.

No, guys really. This was truly a shitty trail. If this harriette lays more trails like this she's going to be a very popular hasher. Kids, this trail was, shockingly, pretty damn good. Surprised me for sure. Because my first trail sucked. In a bad way. A realllly bad way. Just ask any of the 10 out of 25 or so hashers in Austin, TX that left before it ended because it was so bad. You live and learn quickly though, and if that's the case, Grand Rapids is in for some damn good hashin' when Just Nicole lays a trail.

We started out at the... aw, hell, I don't remember what it was called. We started out at some factory downtown off Monroe by where the road turns and... There was beer there. Anyway... Fairy Potter, Faggin' Wagon, Hot Lips, and Just Nicole (the Virgin Hare) headed out on trail north to Leonard then west to the river and then back south for about a total of 3/4 of a mile to our first beer check. Now this Hare-On-Trail thing is new to me. I'm not used to the Hares actually running trail with the hounds the entire way week after week, but as I'm finding, the fact that we only get a few hashers each Sunday instead of the huge pack that I'm used to, it is now starting to make sense. It's a social thing and it gives the one or two hounds that show up someone to talk too. And you wankers that aren't making it to the hash. Trust me, things have changed, and this hash is here and happening now.

We downed good ol' hash beer at the first check and then off we went south again to a check at a big blue bridge. Now, I should have known better than this, so this is what I get for thinking on trail. I says to myself at the check, "Self, if I was a sneeky hare it would be waaaaay too obvious if I made the trail go across something as blatant as this big blue bridge. I should fool everyone and make everyone cross the bridge to a false trail and make true trail go in a di-erection they wouldn't expect". So off I went away. Away from that blatantly obvious bridge! No one's gong to fool me. Away into the depths of old warehouses and back parking lots! Away! And then after much searching, more searching, peeing in an alley, and then searching even more, to no avail. It occurred to me. "She's a Virgin Hare, you idiot, SHE'S the one who can't resist going across something so obvious as a big blue bridge." So off I went back to the bridge to find the rest of the pack standing there (in the middle of the big blue bridge, on trail) waiting for idiot boy here to ketchup.

So, like I said about lessons learned. On-on Faggin Wagon!

Over the bridge and then again south following the foggy, woggy, banks of the limpo-po warri-a bar or the Grand frozen River. Across a half-flooded museum yard, under a half-flooded bridge that smelled like bum-pee, a two-minute picture of hashers riding hashers down the ice into the river, and then back east across another bridge. I didn't smell this one, sorry no comentary, so off we went into downtown. Where Fairy Potter beat me to a joke about the gigantic phrase "Ball Room" on the back of some building owned by "Dick" DeVos.

Here, again, is where this Virgin Hare, surprisingly, kept her poker face on and played us hounds a hefty hand of, "Here's a check and a whole bunch of trails leading away from it, where all but one ends in a false trail." Now you'd think since it was cold and crappy and all that, that the hare who was trudging along with the hounds, would not want to have to suffer following the pack down EACH AND EVERY ONE of the false trails without uttering a peep. ...but she did. And revelled like a pro in it. Bi-atcha! We had fallen victim to a serious trap and she loved every minute of it.

Now, mind you. I had half-expected this trail to be very nearly over by the time I had reached that big blue bridge long time ago. So I was very relieved by this point (I'd venture to guess two miles maybe) that the trail was finally turning back north and heading toward the beginning and thus more beer. So, it shouldn't surprise you, when I mention that within maybe two or three blocks of the "end" - trail suddenly came again to a big check in the road.

So. This check had three possibilities. 1-left, back to the beginning (yea!), 2-right, back downtown (boo!), 3-straight up a VERY, VERY, VERY steep set, of super high, unforgiving, slippery, ice-covered stairs climbing two thousand three hundred and fourty-leven feet strait up.

Let's see. Virgin Hare, first trail, she's an unnamed hasher, predictable big blue bridge crossing... big unresistable, near-unclimb-able hill. She didn't dissappoint... Up we went. Then up some more. And then some more. Then it got to the point where you couldn't really "up" anymore unless you used the knotted rope that was suspended along side of the stairs, and "short-roped" yourself up the rest of the hill. And rest we did when we arrived at the top. I think Fairy Potter dropped a lung or something half way up. Sheesh. Serves him right, though, for not only beeting me to the draw on the "Ball Room" joke but making his better than mind was going to be anyway.

From there, On-On north for about a block where we found ourselves atop the "other" side of Mt. Grand Rapids. Looking down this snow covered hill thoughts of how to get down being so exhausted from the climb and being the fact that it itself was very steep and slippery. I eyed this little girl in the yellow snow suit that warily watched us approach as she possesed the SECRET way down. I tried to haggle her out of her SECRET matching yellow plastic sled to no avail and realized there was only one acceptable way down. Flopping face first on your stomach at full sprint, diving downward toward your destiny at the bottom of this hill. Damn the consequences. So, off I went. Down, face first, on my stomach diving from a full sprint. ...the rest just walked. We found BEER at the bottom! Beer check #2! And then trail went back to the beginning, but not before flopping down yet one more hill on the way back.

Then we On-In'ed at Teasers, I think, for "circle" where much praising of Just Nicole's shitty trail went on for many down downs, because when one hare drinks... as Hot Lips was also a co-hare that day. Good on ya! girls, great trail! And here's where we'd post yet three more paragraphs on all the accusations and goings on from the circle, and there was much to be noted, too. It was a good circle. But I've rambled much. And I'm out of beer. So I will end this diatribe with the little ditty about the o-so-friendly owners of Teasers.

The hash entered Teasers loooong before that stupid Super Bowl thingy started, and stayed drinking ($9 dollar pitchers, mind you) loooong into the first half, where unbeknownst to us the entire bar had (over the last few hours) turned itself over into some huge PRIVATE party that we didn't know about. NOBODY said anything about no stinking private party when we came in. But when they found out that we weren't part of their little shin-dig... They threw us out!

Threw us out but not before two full rounds of 'tude from this waitress who had everything to gain (monitarily) by letting us stay. They didn't need the table, there was plenty of room. We were in the back room waaaay off in the corner. It probably didn't help that Hot Lips and Faggin' Wagon decided to join their party and eat willy-nilly from their private buffet of home-made macaroni and cheese, baked beans, hot wings, hot dogs, chilled shrimp... you get the point. Oooops. LOL! Like I said, "Lessons Learned" ON-ON! Faggin' Wagon

Hash Pics!

GRH3 Run # 134 Hashing thru the Snow in a ?
"Snow Fight" Revised

Sunday / January 23, 2005 at 2:00pm

Hare: Just Kenn

Start Location: Vitales Sports Lounge (parking lot) at 3868 West River Drive, Comstock Park

On-In Location: TBA

ONONON Location: Revised (home of the hare)

Di-Erections: See above

Hash Cash: $5.00 - beverages and snacks

Run Review: We all met up in the back parking lot of Vitales with introductions, beverages consumed, chalk talk and Father Abraham as our warm up. The weather was cold snow piled high as high could be. Hash marks were set with green spray paint on white snow which was viewed by us as we headed out on trail - like it. We headed out somewhere about 2:37 up and over snow drifts - not deep enough if you ask me? On and on we went looking looking for beer. Three beer checks where located with much beer located in snow drifts. All was consumed with songs of many sung. We really must have been hardcore hashers to be out there in that cold (-5 at 9:00am maybe 0 at hash time). The railroad tracks with the bridge was a bit trecherous but we all braved that bit of the trail. It was noticed that hashers were peeing on trail or near - don't eat that yellow snow! The on in trail was located and we rushed in for warmth. Vitales was packed so we all headed to the hares house for the ONONON.

We circled up with down-downs taking place on off-white carpeting - whoops! A bucket of snow was brought in for us all to sit upon, we all liked it. Many many offenses and allogations took place today. Hare: Just Kenn received the first and we sang "Shitty Trail." We welcumed our visiting hasher SLAP from Okinawa H3 and his virgin hasher Rob "WELCOME TO THE HASH;" short cutting and FRB (dbl down-downs): Faggin' Wagon; DFL was Suds Sniffer; FBI would and could be Hot Lips; returners: Suds Sniffer and Just Steve; auto-hashing wanks: HO-HO, Just Wade and Just Rob; Military down-downs: Just Kenn, SLAP, Just Wade and Just Rob; (talent) moving while peeing on trail: Just Steve; bragging about overachieving: Hot Lips; hash crash: Faggin Wagon; not wearing hash attire: most hashers present; cinderella down-down (new shoes): SLAP, Hot Lips and Just Steve; all GM's past and present: SLAP and Hot Lips; and finally all Robs: Just Rob and Just Rob. THANK YOU to Just Wade and Just Kenn for allowing us to use their home for a hash house.

Fantastic hash was set by Just Kenn.

Notes: Sledding available afterwards - tooo coooooooold...........

GRH3 Run # 133 More Beer for the New Year "Let's Celebrate!!!!!"
On-On to 2005

Sunday / January 9, 2005 at 2:00pm

Hare: Hands On Hands Off (HO HO)

Start Location: Riverside Park - North parking lot/Boat Launch area (across from the Veteran's Hospital)

On-In Location: Vitales

ONONON Location: Vitalies Sports Lounge (3868 West River Drive, Comstock Park)

Di-Erections: Get to US-131 and exit at Ann Street (between I-96 and I-196). Turn left/East on Ann then turn left/North on Monroe pass 3 Mile Road and turn left into the North parking lot/Boat Launch area across from the Veteran's Hospital (before North Park Bridge).

Hash Cash: $5.00 - beverages and snacks

Run Review: Sunday is a hashing day and we are hashing..... A small group as we headed out thru the park finding bread crumbs, flour, chalk, etc.... for markings. First check was found and the true trail lead us across Monroe to a gate leading into the Veterans Cemetary. Whoops beer check? Yes beer check with peach schnapps and beers of plenty. Enough to warm us - very warm. Up and over the gate we went looking for trail as we carefully stayed on paths not to bother bodies under. Hashing thru the cemetary we all came upon a fence up so of course we went up and over. Onto the main rode we went in search of trail and beer. Several more BC's where located including beer actually found on trail by a hasher. Trail was short and the snow was deep and cold, burrrrr! On in we headed to the vehicles then to Vitales for the circle and OnOnOn.

Circle was short and sweet also with down-downs consisting of: The Hare - Hands On Hands Off, Returner / Transplant - Faggin' Waggin (recently living in Virginia and Texas), Overachieving on trail and leaving before hash actually started? - Faggin' Waggin, Finding BEER on trail not set out by the hare - Hot Lips, and maybe a few more extra's..... Circle closed for the time being and we continued with hash gossip, etc.... till the beer ran out. The review may change depending on who tells the story - On On HL